Looking Your Best at Your Wedding Portraits

One of the most important events in one's life is their wedding. And that holds true for a lot of people as this special event is the union of two people who are very much in love with each other, and so committed that they are willing to start a life together and share their time together for the rest of their lives. Till death do they part they say! And of course, these events are so memorable to everyone involve that it is very important to get keepsakes. But how do you get to achieve the best wedding portraits you could ever wish for? Well, that's a bit tricky and will probably make you nervous just thinking about it! But don't worry, as we have broken them down to simpler steps than you can imagine! Here are some tips to help you out!

* Prepare everything out. From planning to actual execution!

In order to get the perfect wedding portrait for you and for your wedding. Planning is very essential. Plan everything ahead as it will help you in terms of guiding the steps that you will take as you get these pictures taken and shot.

* Decide on the theme and the styles.

When it comes to your wedding portraits, it is very important to decide on a theme that will be your guideline when it comes to choosing the style, the clothes and the backgrounds or locations that comes with your portrait. Decide what works for you and ask around in order to decide accordingly. Of course, it is important that the theme you are going to use works for you.

* Try out the themes and styles you have decided on.

Once you have decided, try these themes and styles out. Practice is the key. Some themes and styles may sound like great ideas on paper and theories, but may not really look as good as how you planned it. Try them out and see if this is what you really want.

* Practice!

When we say practice, we're talking about the make-up, hairstyle, poses, smiles and angles. It doesn't hurt to practice these as you want everything to be smooth sailing and perfect!

* Hire a professional!

We suggest that you hire a professional photographer for the job. It's your special day after all and it only comes once in a while. You want it to be absolutely perfect so let someone who knows what they're doing to handle it.

And of course, enjoy shooting your wedding portraits! That's the most important part of it all!



Source by Howard Lee Helm

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How to Choose the Best Anti Aging Cream?

As we become old, the skin renews itself much more slowly than when you are young because the production of collagen, natural proteins that provide the firmness of the skin begin to fall, causing dehydration of the skin and wrinkles.

When you reach 30/40 years, a regular moisturizer will not be enough for your skin, you should start using anti-wrinkle cream (anti-aging) to slow the signs of aging.

Fortunately, there are now a range of anti-aging products designed for every skin type, for all ages and for different needs.

There are wrinkle creams, serums, masks, creams around the eyes, neck, hands, face, etc ..

The advantages of using anti-aging creams

– Gives a brightness and youthful glow to the skin
– Eliminate and reduce wrinkles
– Strengthen and firm the skin
– Reduces the appearance of fine lines
– Check and neutralize free radicals
– Moisturize and nourish the skin
– Rejuvenate and firm the skin
– Stimulates the production of collagen and elastin
– Harmonize the pigmentation of the skin
– Stimulates cellular activity and firm the skin
– Prevent the appearance of new wrinkles
– Helps rebuild the skin texture
– Redefine the skin of the cheeks and neck
– Helps repair signs of loosening around the neck and chin
– Renouvelent the elasticity of the skin by stimulating its natural healing processes
– Satisfies wrinkles

How do anti-aging creams?

Most anti-aging products contain retinol, collagen, alpha hydroxy acid, minerals and vitamins. These elements are known for their power to stop the signs of aging and reduce wrinkles and fine lines.

Once the anti-aging cream is applied to the skin, the components therein inhibit muscle movement and to reduce wrinkles and prevent their further training.

Substances penetrate the outer layer of the skin and repair. They also stimulate the production of collagen and elastin in the skin.

Other wrinkle operate by separating the upper layer of the skin, allowing healthy new cells of the skin to appear (that are generally products containing alpha-hydroxy acids).

You should know that all anti-aging products can remove wrinkles or fine lines after the first few days of use.These products gradually smooth your skin and the results are usually seen after a month or two.

How to choose the best anti-aging cream for the face to you?

Today, anti-aging creams are specially designed for specific skin problems: some creams treat crow's feet, dark circles around the eyes and fine lines around the mouth, others are designed to revitalize the skin, reducing the depth of wrinkles and firm the neck.

There are even anti-aging creams for the hands, neck and neckline.

There are anti-wrinkle products for each skin type: for those who are fat, dry or sensitive.

One of the most important rules when choosing the best anti-aging product for your skin is to look at the components of the product.

It is essential to choose an anti-aging cream that suits your skin type and needs.

If your skin has a lot of wrinkles around the eyes, you should consider buying an anti-aging cream for the eyes that treats crow's feet and dark circles around the eyes.

During the selection of anti-aging cream make sure it is not too hard or very greasy as it can clog pores and cause a problem if it is left on overnight.

It is essential to choose a product that offers good sun protection (SPF of at least 15 or more) to protect your skin from harmful sun rays that cause premature aging of the skin.

Today, most anti-aging creams available and contain antioxidants that neutralize free radicals associated with excessive exposure to the sun can cause serious skin problems.

Common components of anti-aging creams

Retinol (vitamin A)

Vitamin A is a powerful antioxidant that neutralizes free radicals that cause premature aging usually (Free radicals break down skin cells and collagen in the skin).

Retinol is also known as vitamin A, retinoic acid and retinoid.

Vitamin A is probably the most component used in anti-aging creams, serums and toners. It reduces wrinkles, fine lines and discoloration of the skin and stimulates collagen production. Vitamin A is also known for its ability to tighten pores and minimize sun damage.

Retinol is widely used to treat severe acne and rosacea.

The kinetin

The Kénitine a natural component that helps the skin retain natural moisture and stimulates collagen production.

It is a powerful antioxidant that can also fight against uneven pigmentation. It restores the function of the natural moisture of the skin, helps to preserve and soften the skin without side effects and provides protection for the skin against free radical damage.

Hyd-hydroxy acids (AHA or)

AHAs are widely used in the cosmetic industry because they remove the top layer of dead skin cells and stimulate the growth of healthy new cells.

Α-hydroxy acids work come exfoliating agents, they have a cooling effect on the skin and improve its overall appearance.

Hyd-hydroxy acids generally used include: glycolic acid, lactic acid and salicylic acid.
Α-hydroxy acids act as deep into the dermis and stimulate the production of collagen and elastin fibers which are essential for healthy skin.

You should know that all types of α-hydroxy acids increase susceptibility to the harmful effects of the sun and it is essential to use sunscreen daily to avoid sun damage.

Α-hydroxy acids are present in a variety of products including skin care moisturizers, cleansers, eye cream, sunscreen, and foundation.

Coenzyme Q10

Coenzyme Q10 is a fat-soluble vitamin-like substance found in every human cell and that neutralizes free radicals (acts as an antioxidant) and reduces fine lines and wrinkles. It prevents sun damage and skin discolorations.

Coenzyme Q10 is commonly used in anti-wrinkle creams and serums because it prevents damage to collagen and elastin production process and help prevent fine lines and wrinkles.

Copper peptides

Copper peptides are widely used in anti-aging creams, because they stimulate the production of collagen.Copper peptides also enhance the action of antioxidants and enhance wound healing.

Copper peptides are effective against various forms of skin irritation, mainly because of their anti-inflammatory effects. Copper peptides also stimulate the formation of elastin and reduce sagging and wrinkles.

Vitamin A

Vitamin A is a powerful antioxidant that helps reduce the appearance and depth of wrinkles. It stimulates cellular renewal of the skin.

There are different forms of vitamin A: retinol, retinyl palmitate and retinyl linoleate. Lack of vitamin A can cause dryness and hardening of the skin.

Vitamin C

Vitamin C is an antioxidant with a brightening effect of the skin.

It is a common component in products skin care as well as makeup products because it gives the skin a youthful and stimulates blood circulation.

Vitamin C also keeps the skin elastic and prevents premature aging of the latter.

When combined with vitamin E reduces the signs of aging: wrinkles, fine lines, brown spots and age spots.

Vitamin C is also known as ascorbic acid.

Vitamin E

Vitamin E provides natural protection against harmful UV rays.

Vitamin E creates a moisture barrier and prevents the discoloration of the skin. It helps the skin to repair itself.

Antioxidants

The most common are vitamin A, vitamin C and vitamin E. Antioxidants neutralize free radicals and prevent premature aging of the skin.

Many beauty products: the facial cleansers, moisturizing lotions, tonics, claim to contain antioxidants.

Antioxidants are added to cosmetic products containing fat such as lipstick and moisturizers to prevent rancidity.

Tea extracts

Tea extracts (green tea, black tea, white) are usually found in anti-aging creams, serums, masks and lotions.

The tea extracts act as antioxidants in the fight against free radicals. They have anti-inflammatory properties and help in repairing skin damage.

Retinoids

Retinoids are chemical compounds that are chemically related to vitamin A. They make the skin thinner and smoother and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

Retinoids are widely used in the treatment of many diseases and are effective in treating a number of skin conditions such as inflammatory disorders of the skin, cancer, skin disorders in cell renewal and aging.

Retinoids reduce wrinkles, freckles, blackheads (whiteheads and blackheads), and stains caused by sunlight.

Topical retinoids are also effective treatments for mild acne and severe.

It takes about 3 months for the skin acclimates to a retinoid.

Hyaluronic acid

Hyaluronic acid is a component of connective tissue whose function is to cushion and lubricate the skin.

It is found naturally in the skin, its function is to hold water.

Useful tips related to the use of anti-aging creams

– Apply your anti-aging cream with upward strokes from the throat to the front.
– Do not forget: you may need to use an anti-wrinkle for several weeks before you notice improvement.
– Ask for samples before buying a face cream to see if it works for you.
– Try to use a facial cleanser with glycolic acid.
– Exfoliate your skin regularly (at least twice per week) with a gentle exfoliant to remove dead skin cells and accelerate cell renewal.
– Always use a sunscreen with an SPF of at least 15 to protect your skin against the sun's harmful rays that cause premature aging of the skin and causes discoloration.
– Consult a dermatologist or esthetician to give you the product that best suits you.
– It is essential to get a good amount of sleep each night.
– Try to use a wrinkle cream that contains more natural ingredients, vitamins, essential oils, aloe vera and natural emollients.
– You can put on your sunscreen cream.
– Choose makeup: foundation, concealers, lipsticks, lip glosses that offer sun protection.
– It is essential to follow a strict regimen of skin care every day to keep your skin clear and healthy.
– Always remove your makeup at night with a mild cleanser that suits your skin type.
– Use masks or face firming moisturizer twice to keep your skin radiant mature.
– Drink plenty of mineral water at least 1.5 liters a day to keep your body and skin hydrated.
– Perhaps now is the perfect time to quit smoking: Smoking seriously harms health and damages the skin by destroying collagen and elastin.
– Compare different wrinkle creams and find out what works best for you.



Source by Sarah Levick

Special Event | Full Glam Makeup Tutorial



Hey babes!! This is probably my fav makeup look I’ve ever done, I love how the eyes turned out thanks to inspo from @bybrookelle!!! (Go check her out!) I really …

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5 Best Beauty Tips To Help You Become Your Own Beauty Expert

It may surprise you to learn that many of the best beauty tips simply involve using your common sense. You don’t necessary need to consult a professional make-up guru or a personal trainer to be able to make yourself look attractive. In fact you probably recognize your best features and shortcomings better than anyone. This article will examine some best beauty tips to help you become your own beauty expert.

Best Beauty Tips #1: Diet

Following a well-balanced diet plan is essential for looking young and staying healthy. Ensure that you are eating lots of foods high in vitamins, minerals and full of nutrients. Besides the obvious health benefits, these will also help to improve the look of your skin. Red and dark fruits are well-known for containing high level of antioxidants which help your body repair damage caused by free radicals. You need lots of protein in your diet from foods such as tofu, lean meat and nuts. Nuts are a great source of unsaturated fat which helps to decrease your cholesterol levels and maintain it at a healthy level. Never underestimate the importance of drinking enough water daily. Most diets recommend at least 8 glasses per day minimum. This is necessary to keep your body and skin fully hydrated and healthy looking.

Best Beauty Tips #2: Regular Exercise

First of all, pick a type of exercise that you enjoy! You need to exercise regularly to gain the health benefits, so it is crucial that you choose a type of exercise that you are willing to perform on a regular basis. If you hate weight lifting or going to a gym, then don’t pick this as your exercise routine as guess what? You won’t do it once the novelty wears off! So make sure that you choose something that you enjoy doing. Ideally, any exercise type that you decide upon should have a good mixture of cardio, weights and stretching if you are really serious. As mentioned if weights are not your thing, then don’t worry about it and try to find a physical activity that has a good cardio and stretching component. Your body will still benefit from this type of exercising.

Best Beauty Tips #3: Skin Care

Proper skin care involves a regular routine of washing, moisturizing and exfoliating. For washing, a mild cleanser should be used on a daily basis. Try to avoid products that have an alcohol base or make your skin feel greasy. Alcohol tends to dry out your skin, while oily products may clog the pores of your skin. It is important to wash your face well every morning and never leave make-up on your face for long periods of time such as when you are sleeping. Keep your skin hydrated by using a good quality moisturizer after washing. Several times a month it is necessary to remove dead skin cells from your entire body using an exfoliation product. With the many different types and brands of cleansing, moisturizing and exfoliation products available these days, you may need to try out a variety of cleansers and lotions to find which ones work the best with your skin.

Best Beauty Tips #4: Sun Exposure

The days of baking in the sun as a way to become healthier are long gone. With the higher concentrations of ultraviolet light during the hot days of summer, it is much healthier to avoid prolonged sun exposure as much as possible. If you are going to be spending significant time outdoors then plan to use a moisturizer and a facial make-up which contains sunscreen. In cases where you may be in the hot sun for lengthy periods such as while at the beach, hiking, cycling, watching an outdoor event, etc. then ensure that you apply a good quality sunscreen with a high level of UV protection and wear a hat. Current research indicates that excessive sun exposure is one of the primary causes of the visible aging of our skin making some people appear much older looking than they actually are. More dangerous still is the higher probability of sun-worshippers getting skin cancer due to repeated sun exposure. Sadly this can affect people of all ages, just not the older generation.

Best Beauty Tips #5: Make-Up

While the goal of applying make-up is to improve your appearance, it should also be something than is enjoyable and not a chore. Make it easy by using only a high-quality foundation along with a brush to ensure that you apply it smoothly and evenly. Since your foundation does contact your delicate facial skin it is important to ensure that the ingredients do not clog the skin pores. Longer, thicker looking eyelashes are very trendy now and this can be achieved by using a good quality mascara. Keep your lips sexy looking by using a lip balm which prevents chapping and keeps them soft. A blush product can help give your face a healthy appearance as well as highlight your facial cheekbones. Make-up is all about experimentation. So don’t be afraid to try different products and colors such as eyeshadow and lipstick to give yourself a new look.

With more beauty products in the consumer marketplace than ever before along with all the hype surround new product launches, it is very easy to feel overwhelmed. To avoid information overload, it is essential that you take the time to determine which products or product lines do the best job of enhancing your natural beauty and disguising your flaws. Time is on your side, as these products are not going away soon, and there will always be something new.

So don’t be afraid to take the time to investigate new products and experiment with how they will work for you. Not all at once of course, but one thing at a time. Perhaps try several different kinds of eyeshadow until you find one that you like. Then look at something else, perhaps cleansing products. Overall, learning about the best beauty tips encompasses an entire range of considerations which include having a healthy diet, doing regular exercise, avoiding sun exposure, taking proper care of your skin and finally the correct use of cosmetics. Being able to master each of these parts is an important step in learning how to be beautiful today and every day forward.



Source by Barisa Wyse

MY BOYFRIEND DOES MY MAKEUP! | Aspyn Ovard



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Roaming Fingers – A Story of A Childhood Sexual Molestation

We have all had our “stories” to tell about our lives growing up. Some have had fun loving childhoods in which they had a stay-at-home mom, who had home baked cookies ready for them as soon as they walked in from school, clean clothes ready for the next day, and dinner simmering on the stove. Dads arrived home, everyone sat at the table and enjoyed the delicious meal that mom had prepared, and then while dinner dishes were being cleaned up, the kids could tell their dad about their day. Some had parents that encouraged them, helped them with their homework after supper, and enjoyed spending time with their kids before the next day started. You know, one of those “Leave It To Beaver” type of families. Then there were those who were minus one parents for one reason or another…usually divorce or death. Or what about those that lived with alcoholic or drug addicted parents who weren’t really “parents” at all. Their kids were basically were on their own, raising themselves, fending for themselves, and making the most of bad situations.

I don’t know why I am sharing this right now. I just feel led to let someone out there know that you are not alone! That you can live a normal life. I have been molested by 4 different men between the ages of 8 – 14. But, the LORD GOD Himself, brought me through this all. I have been been redeemed and washed clean by the blood of the Lord. I no longer have to live in life of my molestation taking charge over me any longer.

I was one of those kids who had my own “unique” circumstances when growing up. My parents divorced when I was 7, though my dad moved out when I was 5 ½. I was the oldest of the three of us. We moved to a small town to live closer to my grandparents, my mom’s parents. We moved from the bigger metropolis of Denver, CO, to the small town of Julesburg, CO. At first, when I was younger, I’d made my lifelong friend with the girl who lived across the street from my grandparent’s house. This was the summer before our 2nd grade school year. During the time, our lives seemed somewhat “normal” playing babies, or pretending to be teachers at school, or building ant farms…

But during my lifetime, many things happened that made me who I am today. I cannot begin to tell you what my life was like and do it justice! There are so many more stories I could tell you! For one, we moved and lived in 27 different places from the time I turned 7 – 18. I went to 11 schools in 12 years time. I think that that with us moving so often, I took with me idea that “I better make friends quickly, because sure enough we’d be moving and I’d have to leave.” I believe my sister took the theory that “why bother making friends because we were going to move anyway.” And my brother, well, being a boy, keeping a friend wasn’t that big of a deal, and he made friends fairly easy, but it wasn’t as big an issue for him as it was us girls.

When I was 8, my mom began dating a Japanese farmer in our area, quickly becoming engaged, with the last name of Kinoshita. As you can imagine, the 3 of us kids made quite fun of that name at the time by intentionally pronouncing it, Kin-O-Shit-A. Mean, weren’t we? Well this is the first time that I consider myself being sexually molested. After suppers, my mom would go to the kitchen to wash dishes at his house, and the 3 of us kids and her boyfriend would lie on the floor to watch some TV. Well her fiance’ would use this time to “rub my tummy.” Now I was 8, so needing my tubby rubbed after dinner seemed really weird to me, but I thought, okay, I suppose if this is normal? It made me uncomfortable, but my mom said he was only trying to be nice. Okay, so nice it was…I guess?? But then those tummy rubs, turned into “roaming fingers,” and climbed a little higher and a little higher. Soon my tummy rubs became chest rubs. Now mind you, I had barely started developing, but still had just enough that this made me incredibly uncomfortable! My mom had said that she really wanted this marriage because he was financially well off, and so each night that this went on, I tried to keep myself busy with homework so we didn’t have to lie on the floor and watch TV, but one way or another, he coaxed me in to it, and my mom had told us several times that she didn’t want this relationship messed up by us kids. So, I kept my mouth shut, until one day, on the way home from school, I let it all out to my friend. She went home and talked to her mom. I didn’t know what they were talking about, because her parents only spoke Spanish, so I didn’t think much of it. However, her mom, having heard what was going on, assured me that they were there for me, and that this was something that I had to talk to my mom about right away. So with my friend and her mom both sitting there, I called my mom and told her what had been happening. I don’t know much how was actually said between my mom to her new fiance’, but I do know that she broke up with him. However, my friend’s mom suggested that he be turned in to the police, but my mom said that it was pointless to call the police because “he was so rich that he can own the town, so no one will believe you anyway. It would be his word against yours,” she said. So, life went on as “normal.” Okay, normal as normal could be.

Then my mom found a younger guy who could come over in the mornings and stay with us, when she went to work at 6:00 AM at the truck stop, and he got off at 6:00 AM from working the all night shift there, and would come stay with the three of us kids for the day, as our “babysitter.” Oh he was fun, would make us breakfast, take us to the school or the park to play on the playground, and chase us around the house playing tickle monster. However, when he first got to the house each morning, instead of climbing in to my mom’s empty bed to sleep for a while, he would climb in to my bed with me. Why? Well there were those “roaming fingers” again. Except this time, these fingers roamed up, and then down. I was 9, and he was 21. What did I have at that age that was so enticing anyway?! I hadn’t even started physically developing yet for goodness sake!!! At any rate, this went on for weeks. I told my mom, but she she thought that since I had been through this with her ex-fiance’, then “it must me something I was doing to encourage these guys.” So, though he stopped watching us, I remember wishing him dead. I did. I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted him dead so he could never do something like this again! A couple of months later, while he was working at the electric company, and his partner decided to start drinking some beer on their lunch break. Well Curtis had climbed the pole to work on a specific wire that was causing them trouble, and was electrocuted. He fell from the pole, and his partner, having been drinking, wasn’t functional enough to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I knew it was all my doing! I had prayed and asked for him to die, and he had. You see, it was all my fault…I had wished it, and prayed for that. I just knew it was my fault. I held on to that guilt for many, many years after that. Someone was dead and it was all my fault.

Then, we had a family friend, who we’d been friends with he and his wife for years. In fact, most times, we loved going over to their house. She was like an adopted mom to us kids, and we could convince her husband to come play games with us, read us stories, etc. You should have heard him read one of the Dr. Seuss books backwards! It was a riot! And it was a tongue twister reading it from front to back, let alone reading it back to front! And we used to love tricking him in to asking for Big Macs at Burger King! So, needless to say, we would go over to their house quite often. Usually though, I got the big bed with his wife because we always went to bed much earlier than he did, and he slept on the couch when we stayed, or in the spare bedroom. His wife would usually send me in to wake him when it was time for us all to get up each morning. That’s when those infamous “roaming fingers” would start roaming again. I was between the ages of 10 – 12 during most of this time. But, without telling my mom, (remember how she had decided the last time that I must be the one to enticing these “men,”) that sure enough, it must be something about me, and once again, I was at fault.

Well over time, we’d moved again like we had done numerous other times before, and so we didn’t see them as often as we had before. It was in the beginning of our 8th grade year, so I was in one school there in Jr. High, and suddenly we left CO and headed to good ole’ IA. My mom had broken up with a trucker guy she was dating, a real nutty guy who used to set up candles in a circle in our basement, and call on the spirits from the Mojave Dessert. So, we packed up as soon as we got home from school that day, took only our few very important possessions (and I do mean very few), and our cats, and loaded up a small little U-haul trailer, and off we headed out with no where specific in mind. My mom suggested IA, so off we headed West. We ended up in Council Bluffs and out of money. So, this is where we decided to stay.

Of course, we’d switched schools again, for the umpteenth time, and we started yet another school in Council Bluffs, while we lived in a one room cabin with 2 double beds, one bathroom, a crock pot to cook in and three cats. We started one school, but were the “poor kids” and didn’t fit in well. But, once again, we moved. This time it was a good thing. I was starting in the 9th grade, but at a completely different school. This school was much better, much more acceptable, much less judgmental, and critical, and we weren’t treated as “low class scum” here.

I was finally 14 at this time. My last year before I got to start high school. I was so excited! I was finally growing up, started wearing makeup, fixing my hair, and thinking about the big “B” word…BOYS!!! We were living in a house fairly near the school, so it was in walking distance. My mom was once again working at one of the truck stops nearby. But money was tight, so my mom brought a truck driver home to live with us to help pay the bills. Well this guy was 28. My mom worked the all night shift at the truck stop, and Terry would be home most nights, and on runs during the days for the most part. Well Terry took quite a liking to me immediately. Now mind you, I had just turned 14. My sister and I shared a bedroom, my brother had one to the left of us, and across the hall was Sue’s room (a girl/lady in her early 20s from Indiana), someone that Terry had found hitch hiking one day on his trip out-of-town, and brought to our house to stay with us too. So, that was one more person to help pay the bills. But, to get to the bathroom, we had to walk through a little hallway, and we had to go through Sue’s room to get there. Then to the left was the bathroom, and then to the right was Terry’s bedroom. My mom’s room was on the main floor. In between the bathroom and Terry’s bedroom was a second door. The door locked from Terry’s side of the room, but not from his room into the bathroom. Well at night, once Terry thought all of us kids were asleep in bed, he would come into my room, and once again, night after night, those infamous “roaming fingers” of yet another guy, would start their traveling. He would come in, with a condom on, already ready for whatever I guess he had hopes for. He would ask me to put on something “sexy.” I didn’t have anything “sexy” because I was 14-years-old, and “sexy” was not something I was thinking about at that point in my life. Heck, just getting my makeup to look good in the morning, and curling my hair before school was as “sexy” as it got. His fingers roamed places that I didn’t know existed. I used to pray, “Please Lord, let him think that I’m really asleep and go away tonight.” Or I’d pray, “Please Lord, let my sister wake up so that she’ll make enough noise or something that he’d go away and leave me alone.” He never got to the stage where we actually forced full fledged sex on me, but night after night, we went through this ritual. Night after night he would go back to his room, and I would disgustedly cry myself to sleep. Night after night I wished my sister would please just WAKE UP, just this once. But, she never seemed to, or so I thought, until many years later when I found out that she said that she was afraid to let us know that she was awake, because she was afraid he would come to her next. I can’t blame her for that. I wished I could pretend so he’d leave me alone too, but, that wasn’t the case.

Well one day Sue had asked me to go for a walk with her to talk. So, I did. She started telling me that Terry would come in to her room almost every night and do these “things” to her, ask her to “put on something “sexy,” and his “roaming fingers” would start roaming with her too. That’s when it all came out…I spilled what he had been doing to me as well. I pleaded and pleaded with her not to tell my mom because my mom would say, yet once again, that “it must be something I was doing to entice guys like this.” My fault again. Well Sue, knowing how young I was, ended up telling my mom after all. So, my mom went and confronted Terry. He told her that he did it to me because “He loved me soooooo much that he couldn’t resist wanting to make love to me.” Well my mom told him to pack up and get out of our house. We went to my mom’s friend’s house for a few days while he moved out and because they were one vacation and needed someone to house sit and care for their pets. So, we stayed there 3 nights and 4 days. Once we got back home, Terry was gone, and life seemed to go back to “normal” again. Sue and I felt such great peace having him gone. Then one day, about a week later, my mom said that she had to go to the truck stop because Terry wanted to talk to her about something. So, she left and was gone for several hours. When she came back, she said that Terry had convinced her that he really did do what he had done “because he loved me,” and she said that it was a small price to pay since he offered to help pay even more of the bills we had. So, she let him move back in to our house with us. For the first week or two, he was very polite, pulled out the chairs for me when we would sit down at the table, and insisted on driving me to school so that he could kiss me good-bye each day to “let people know that I was his.” At this point, I tried to convince myself that okay, maybe he did really love me, and that I should be proud and flattered that someone the age of 28 would like me, a 14-year-old teenage girl.

Well a few more weeks went by and things had gone back to the way they were. My mom would go to work all night, and Terry would once again come back in to my room at nights, with condom in hand, and his roaming fingers would once again, starting roaming up and down, up and down. The words he spoke made me sick. And every night, it was was same, I would sickeningly cry myself to sleep because I could no longer deal with this at my age, and I was supposed to be having fun in school, looking forward to my high school years, dances, proms, sports events, etc. But instead, I wouldn’t see a future at all. One day, I had had enough, and could no longer take it! I know my mom wanted and needed the money, but I couldn’t pretend that I was okay anymore. I wasn’t. I wanted to die. Yes, truly die! If it had not been for the Lord putting in my path a certain girl at school, who I quickly became best friends with, and my Science Teacher, whom I will never forget and always be grateful for, I might have ended it there. But, God obviously had other plans for me. Just when I thought that He had left me all alone, He provided me with a friend, and a man who not only was my teacher, but one who genuinely cared about me, who knew that I was going through something terrible at home, who gave me compassion, extra time when I just couldn’t concentrate on my assignments, and someone who could make me laugh. I needed that. It brought back hope to me that ALL men did not just want me for sex. That older men were not all perverts, and that God had put him in my life, as my teacher, just in the nick of time.

Today, by God’s grace, forgiveness, and compassion, I have been forgiven my the blood of the lamb, the Lord Jesus Himself. The person who died on that cross many, many years ago so that I might have life everlasting. The one who pulled me out of the darkness and back in to the light. The one who took away all my hurts and distrusts in men. I thank God that though I had to suffer through those awful times, that I came to learn that it was not my fault that the one guy had been electrocuted and died. That NONE of the things that these four men did to me as a child, were my fault.

To this day, my mother still says, “IF those thing really happened to Kelly, then I guess I should have protected her more.” IF those things happened? IF?!?! There is no question that they happened me! My sister once told her that she knows it to be fact because most times she was in the same bed with me, as we almost always shared a bedroom while growing up. I no longer expect that my mother will ever take any responsibility for what I went through. I know that now. I know that I have to forgive her so that Christ can forgive me for my sins. But it is truly, and only by the Grace of God Himself, that I am still here today. It is my prayer that maybe, just maybe, this testimony will help someone else who has been through something similar, or worse, that there IS hope in Jesus Christ. You are not alone. It is NOT your fault. Give it to HIM, as His shoulders are strong enough to take it from you and let you now walk freely in His love.

*Names of people have been changed to protect those others who were involved.



Source by Kelly Benedict